I have made no secret, over the years, that I am a big fan of men. As I have said here before, I like masculinity. I like men’s strength. I like their protectiveness. I like how different they are from me and from femininity in general. I like the way the two play off of each other. I like the way men love deeply, and yet theirs remains a distinctly masculine kind of love.
I think masculinity is one of God’s greatest inventions. And, like all of His inventions, it became vulnerable to distortion after the Fall. That distortion takes different forms in different places and different times. In our era, I think a lot of young men are suffering a profound crisis of meaning.
St. John Paul II, in the Theology of the Body, said that in studying the body, we learn about the person. And what do we learn from the male body? It is external. Unlike women, male genitalia is outside the body. And what do we observe about men in the world? They tend to be outwardly directed — they are more about doing things than they are about feeling things. Their brains are particularly suited to focus, to single-mindedness, to blocking out distraction. What else do we see? They are strong. Men have an overall higher percentage of muscle than women do. And, thanks to an abundance of testosterone, they are overall more aggressive and more physically energetic than women.
So given all of this strength, aggression and outward focus, what do men need more than anything? A purpose. A goal. Men need a mission, to channel all of that strength and energy in a positive direction, to use their masculine energy to build up the world.
Historically, men’s goals have been twofold. First, of course, is the pursuit of a woman. There is a reason why, in romantic relationships, men have traditionally been the pursuers. It’s in their nature, built into their biology. Great literature is full of stories of the lengths men will go to for the sake of their One True Love. Once, years ago, I was contemplating running for Congress. I was mulling the decision over with a friend with some campaign experience. He said “Darlin’, you’ve got to want it like a man wants a woman.” I knew exactly what he was saying. And I didn’t want it that badly.
The second is a mission. A battle, a cause, a career — some way to make his mark on the world. The two often overlap. Whatever that battle he is fighting, that career he is building, it is more rewarding because he is doing it for love — for the woman he has won, and for the family they have built. He wants to protect them, to provide for them, to build a better world for them.
Of course, these are historical archetypes, so modern mileage may vary. But I absolutely believe that these tendencies exist. They may look different in different eras. But they are there and they are strong.
And, of course, there are a million ways all of this can go wrong. A man can pursue women for his one pleasure instead of one woman for heroic love. His “battles” can degenerate into destruction. We only have to pick up a history book, or a newspaper, to see masculine energy gone wrong.
The way I see it, young men are in particular danger when these traditional masculine outlets are unavailable to them. Think of the fundamentalist Mormon “Lost Boys” who were ejected from their communities because the older polygamists were appropriating all of the women for themselves. Think of pretty much every lone nut job who grabbed a gun and started shooting because he lost his job or the girl rejected him. Think of the “Groypers” — followers of the rage-baiting Nick Fuentes, who taps into the frustrations of angry young men and makes them even angrier. Rod Dreher, in his essay “What I Saw and Heard in Washington,” reports that, when asked what the Groypers’ demands are, one observer told him “They don’t have any. They just want to tear everything down.”
Men, without a worthy goal, are inclined to just want to tear everything down.
I believe this is a very dangerous era for young men, especially those who were raised without structure or values. The traditional male outlets seem less available, or perhaps just less interesting, to them. With increasingly degrading, misogynistic pornography available to them 24/7 with just a click of the phone, their ideas about women and sexuality have become badly damaged. Dating, from what I can see, is about hanging out and hooking up, not about finding a mate and building a family. And with an uncertain economy and a college degree as the modern equivalent of a union card, many are finding their career prospects less than rosy.
It all adds up to a very dangerous situation.
We need good, healthy outreach to young men. I know it was a cause close to Charlie Kirk’s heart, and he was successfully reaching them. Until a disaffected young man killed him.
I hope somebody picks up where he left off. Many somebodies. Male somebodies. Somebodies who can show them what a vibrant, fulfilling life a man can have.
And do it soon.
