Your body was created in the image and likeness of God. Dress that way.
1999-12-05

Okay, back to modesty.

In this somewhat sporadic series of articles, we've been discussing the various aspects of the oft-forgotten virtue of modesty. We've determined that modesty means dressing to show off ourselves as human persons instead of our bodies as property. We've examined how modesty, while unchanging as a principle, is played out in different ways within different cultures (using the example of the young George Burns, who used to stand on street corners hoping to glimpse a female ankle). And we found ourselves running into some rather difficult questions, which I promised to continue to address.

The first of those questions deals with determining the difference between immodest "attractiveness" and normal male/female attraction. I recall being intensely confused about this when I was young and scrupulous. (Is it just me, or was anybody else ever young and scrupulous?) I knew that, as a developing woman, it was important for me to dress modestly, so as not to "lead men to impure thoughts." But what exactly did that entail? Was I supposed to insure that they weren't attracted to me at all? If they were attracted to me, was that wrong? If it was, it seemed like an awfully dirty trick on God's part, because there was certainly a whole lot of attraction between us boys and girls at that age.

Thank God (literally) for John Paul II and the Theology of the Body, which clears up all questions Catholic and sexual. JPII speaks of male/female attraction as good -- as ordained by God. God created man and woman to be different from each other. He made those differences complementary, so that we would be drawn to the other. The attraction and marriage between man and woman is the basis of the family, which is the basis of human civilization and the basis of His plan for salvation. So the attraction of a man to a woman, and vice versa, is very important. Part of that attraction is sexual attraction -- the physical response, the desire to give self to the other.

But JPII makes an important distinction within the realm of sexual attraction. Such attraction is good, he says, when it is part of what he calls the "storehouse of virtues." When a man looks at a woman and thinks "She's beautiful, she's smart, she's funny, and I'm sexually attracted to her" then he sees her sexuality in the larger context of her human personhood. If she is his mate, he responds to that by giving himself to her sexually, out of love for her. If she is not his mate (or not yet his mate) he responds by focusing his attention on those other attributes of her personhood.

Lust, on the hand, reduces the entire person to sexuality. This other person -- this image and likeness of God -- is seen not as a irreplaceable being to be protected and treasured, but rather as simply a means to my own satisfaction. It is not attracted to the personality or the spiritual beauty of the individual. It is not aimed at looking out for what is best for the other. It is aimed at using the person to gratify personal sexual drive. That is wrong.

Thus the importance of modesty. If we dress in such a way as to call attention to our sexual bodily parts, we invite a response of lust on the part of others. Those parts are sacred, and respect for ourselves requires treating them as such.

But thus, also, the importance of dressing attractively. I've seen more than a few people in my time (specifically women) who seem to equate dressing modestly with dressing, for lack of a better word, dumpily. They seem to fear all attractiveness to the opposite sex. Some seem to make a test out of requiring men to look past their deliberately slovenly appearance to find the "gold" of inner beauty disguised within.

Personally, I don't think this is such a hot idea.

Remember, God created us. He created us male and female. He created us with an amazing, beautiful dignity. We need to reflect that dignity while we live in these bodies which He has given us. I'm not saying we need nose jobs or liposuction or any other form of mutilating bodily "improvements." Our noses, our faces and the shape of our bodies are in themselves a gift from God. But we need to act that way. We need to show that we take care of these gifts from God which are our human bodies. Since we experience life on the physical plane, we need to make that care and gratitude known on the physical plane. Looking our best is our way of calling attention to the deeper beauty within ourselves. It's the best defense, really, against the lust which would ignore that inner beauty for the sake of selfish satisfaction.

So go ahead. Take pride in your appearance. Do better than just show off your body. Show off the image and likeness of the God who dwells within you.

That's something you want the world to see!